Love By Every Other Name
by Temporary Permanent
Summary: A mini story that was originally going to be a doujinshi. Tharja has developed a love potion for Robin, however, when it accidentally gets mixed with a batch of snacks for the Shepherds, what craziness will ensue?
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, so if you don't know what a Doujinshi is...well neither do I. Something about amateur manga, but also being more...adult stuff. That's not this, so don't worry. I don't ever plan to write M rated material. Basically, this an idea I had for a Fire Emblem Manga. However, certain problems prevented it from being that. (You could just tell them you suck at drawing...) Any who, here's my first work that's over 2000 words! Chapter 2 will be out whenever, but there will be a chapter 2. I also thought about doing more of these mini stories without Shimei and Ayaka, leave your opinion in the review box along with your words of wisdom for my looking balls. Enjoy!**

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In the deepest part of the Garrison in Ylisstol, there are chambers that house the Shepherds. In the deepest part of these chambers, resides a room owned by a dark mage. And in the deepest part of that dark mage's heart, lays an unhealthy love for a certain tactician.

Tharja worked on her latest hex. It was the simple stalker story. She would use a love potion. It wasn't the most humane thing, nor did Tharja want to earn Robin's love like that. However, she had approached him several times, each being turned down for different reasons. She was ready to use drastic measures for her chance at true, untrue love.

A bright, pink light engulfed the room. In seconds, it faded back into the magic sigil it originated from. Tharja stared at the vile of magic water, which had altered to a transparent, pink color instead its usual clear form.

Tharja stared at her creation.

"What a disgusting color..." Tharja mumbled. She shook the glass containing the tincture around; and the smiled maniacally. "But if it does its job..." An unsettling cackle followed.

Night changed to day, and with it our story begins.

The shepherds each spent the peaceful days differently. Some were called to help with repair the surrounding towns, others returned to their homes. However, they would all meet up once for a full week every month to train, socialize, or for meetings. This was one such week.

Robin tirelessly fought through the mountain of paperwork before him. Usually, the Exalt would have the pleasure of suffering through the paperwork. Fortunately for Chrom, he had his wife, Sumia, and his tactician, Robin, to help him through it all. Of course, when Sumia gave birth to Lucina, it then became just work for Robin. The tactician didn't mind the paperwork. It was that Chrom was practically rubbing his successful love life in Robin's face that bothered him the most.

Robin wasn't upset at Chrom for finding love, just jealous. He was pinpoint accurate with strategy, knew his way around a spell or two, practiced swordsmanship with the best of the Shepherds, but was a dunce when it came to love.

Robin signed off different bills or request and hastily put them into another pile. However, he wasn't careful, and caused the mountain of work to topple on top of him.

"WAH!" Robin screamed as the papers covered the tactician.

He would have been left to suffocate, if Olivia hadn't rushed in the second afterward.

"Robin! A-are you okay? I-er-I heard screaming." Olivia stated searching for the tactician amongst the scattered files.

Robin shuffled through the papers and managed for his head to reach the surface. He followed his halfway escape with a chuckle.

"No. No. I'm fine! A few paper cuts, but nothing to fret over." Robin explained.

"Paper cuts are not something to laugh about!" Olivia corrected, almost like a mother.

She quickly dug through the papers near Robin and found his shoulders. The dancer then tried to pick Robin up by the shoulders, but he proved to be too heavy. Robin stopped Olivia, and pulled himself out. As he brushed himself off, he heard Olivia yelp in pain. Robin turned and saw her clenching her hand in agony.

"Olivia! What happened?" Robin said rushing over to the dancer.

Olivia released her grip on her palm and revealed a paper cut. She let out a small chuckle.

"S-see...not that funny..." she said jokingly.

"Olivia, don't joke about that! Here, I have a bandage in the drawer." Robin stated in a concerned tone.

He quickly searched through the different drawers, until he found the bandage in question. He then pulled Olivia's arm over to him and placed in on her palm where the cut was.

"There, better?" Robin asked.

Olivia and Robin both stared at Olivia's hand and Robin's which was holding it. Olivia's face almost turned entirely red.

"Y-y-yeah thanks..." Olivia stuttered. She looked like she was going to faint.

"Are you sure? Now, you look a little faint. Do you want me to take you to Maribelle or Lissa?" Robin asked with an unsure look.

"N-no, I'm fine. Um, er, thank you...for the bandage." Olivia mumbled.

"You're welcome. Just be a bit more careful next time, you had me nearly worried to death." Robin replied.

Olivia reached a new shade of red for her.

_Worried?! He was w-worried about ME?!_ She thought as she began to shake.

_Maybe I should tell him...yes, you can do it. Just tell him you like him!_ Her thoughts yelled with the confidence she wouldn't match.

"H-hey, Robin? Since we're here, there's something I...I want to say." Olivia said struggling not to slip on her on words.

"Oh, can it wait? I really need to file the rest of this mess." Robin stated rejecting her conversation.

"Well...uh-er- I..." Olivia stuttered with a loss of words.

The inner Olivia was pouting at how difficult he was being. She then got an idea in her head.

_If I kiss him, I'll get his attention and my feelings out in one go!_

_K-kiss!? No, that's way to direct!_

_So? Sometimes you have to be direct!_

_Well...what if he doesn't like me back? Then it'll just be awkward..._

Olivia's inner argument continued on for a while, until Robin snapped her back into reality.

"Olivia? You were saying something?" Robin asked snapping his fingers at a dazed Olivia.

_Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it._ Olivia's mind continued to chant.

"Y-yes, well...could you...close your eyes?" Olivia asked nervously, her deep blush still present.

Robin stared at her with a furrowed brow for a second. He decided that whatever she was planning couldn't be that bad, and played along.

"Like this?" he asked closing his eyes and putting his hands over the eyelids.

"Perfect!" Olivia cheered.

She leaned near his face. She could hear his breathing alter a bit. She tensed up, but went forward with the kiss. Olivia puckered her lips, and leaned forward.

_Closer...just a little closer..._ she thought. She couldn't believe it. She was only a few seconds from kissing Robin.

"Robin! Hey, are you in here?" Sumia said quickly opening the door as she had never heard of knocking.

Robin quickly stood up straight and restored his vision. His sudden change caught Olivia off guard, causing her to fall to the ground.

"Oh, Sumia. Yes, I'm here...huh, Olivia? Why are you on the ground?" Robin asked offering his hand to Olivia.

The bright red dancer quickly felt the aftershock and embarrassment of almost kissing someone, and quickly dashed out of the room past Sumia without a word. Sumia and Robin merely stared in awe.

"W-was it something I said?" Robin asked Sumia in confusion. Sumia merely returned his question with a shrug of her shoulders.

Sumia looked around at the mess of the room, remembered Olivia's blushing face, and immediately let her romantic brain go to work.

"So what were you two doing in here?" She asked with smirk and a sly tone.

"Nothing." Robin stated stoically, "I was doing work when the papers collapsed on me. Olivia came in and helped me out."

Though she was hearing Robin's words clearly, her mind processed a different story.

"_Olivia? What is it?"_

"_R-Robin...I-I love you! I always had, but never had the courage..."_

_Robin romantically swiped Olivia off her feet. The two gazed lovingly into the others eyes._

"_R-Robin?"_

"_I love you as well Olivia, will you marry me?"_

"_B-But this is so sudden!...Oh, who cares! Yes, Robin yes I will!"_

_The closed their eyes and shared a kiss. The kiss became more heated and then...and then..._

"SUMIA!" Robin yelled snapping Sumia out of her fantasy.

"Oh, yes! Sorry, I got a little off topic there..." Sumia said apologetically.

Robin looked at her with annoyed look. "Right, 'a little'...Anyway, what did you need?"

"Chrom wants you to check on the preparations for the party. He figured you wanted a break from the paperwork..." Sumia said mentally biting her tongue on the latter part. She knew she hit a nerve.

"Right..." Robin replied with an irritated look. He sighed and lost his anger. He knew raising a child must be a hassle as well. Plus, he couldn't stay mad at Sumia. She was probably one of his closer friends, and head of their two person book club.

"Okay so where do I need to go?" Robin asked.

Sumia quickly pulled out a clipboard with sheets of paper attached to it. She then began to read a few of the jobs on the list.

"Stahl and Nowi are baking the snacks, so check to make sure they are edible. Then, help Cordelia and the others with the decorations in the mess hall. Afterwards, Chrom and Lissa want to meet you in the throne room for your prese- I mean- for something important!" Sumia said correcting herself on the latter part.

"Pres-what? Presentation?" Robin mumbled to himself.

"Well, here you go...bye!" Sumia said handing Robin the clipboard and dashing out the room.

However, as Sumia ran, she quickly lost balance and fell on her face. She picked herself up and continued to leave, this time walking. Robin ignored her usual mannerisms and looked through his checklist. He turned to the pile of papers behind him.

"Definitely better than paperwork..." Robin mumbled exiting his chambers.

He didn't even notice Olivia who was crouched over against the wall next to his door when he left. Much to her relief, she had been much more daring than usual and needed to catch her breath.

Robin walked through the many halls of the Garrison. He decided to get some fresh air before checking the preparations for the party. When he finally made it outside, he took a large whiff of the air around him. If freedom had a smell, it would smell like mountains and mossy-oak. While enjoying the atmosphere around him, Robin met up with his friend Gaius. The candy-obsessed thief was gobbling mini-chocolates he had received from a fan, made obvious by the "Please Marry Me!" post-it on the box, and making his way into the Garrison.

"More fan-mail?" Robin asked rhetorically to the thief.

Gaius merely nodded and swallowed more chocolate.

"Well, I need to go check on the preparations for the party in a bit. Want to tag along?" Robin offered.

Gaius merely shook his head and swallowed more chocolate.

Robin decided to bait Gaius into accompanying him.

"~ You Know ~...I heard Stahl's baking some sweets for the snack table. If a certain someone was to come along as an assistant advisor, he or she might be able to get a free sample..." Robin hinted with a sly smile.

Gaius' ears perked at Robin's words. He immediately took the clipboard from Robin.

"So we're going where?" Gaius asked.

Robin slapped his friend on the back.

"~ Glad to have you along, old pal! ~" He said merrily.

As the two made their way to the Mess Hall, a dark figure watched from a far. She gave an evil smile, and took an opposite route to the Mess Hall. When she arrived, she hid the kitchen area, her ash-black hair and circlet barely visible over the serving window.

"It's perfect..." She mumbled to herself as she stared at the potion she had concocted. "When Robin enters, I'll get him something to drink, and add the potion at the last second..."

Her twisted ramblings were interrupted by Stahl walking up behind her.

"Oh, hey Tharja!" Stahl greeted with his usual plucky demeanor.

Tharja's heart nearly shot up her throat. She jumped back and turned to the green cavalier.

"S-Stahl! Don't do that again!" Tharja shot back angrily.

Tharja's outburst caused Stahl to jump back as well. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Well, you did." Tharja replied coldly to Stahl's apology, "So, what do you want?"

"Actually...I was wondering what you were doing here?

Tharja immediately froze in her tracks. She couldn't just tell Stahl she was going to hex Robin into falling in love with her. She needed an excuse to escape.

"I-I was just...scouting...the floor...yeah." Tharja replied nervously. Her out of character response was sure to be a dead giveaway.

"The floor?" Stahl asked making sure he heard Tharja correctly.

"Y-yes! Everything seems clear so...bye!" Tharja exclaimed before dashing out of the kitchen.

Stahl merely stared for a second. He knew Tharja was odd, so what happened didn't bug him. That is to say Stahl ever had a low opinion of anyone. He was generally a fun, easy going guy.

"Okay, see you later!" Stahl yelled hoping Tharja would hear.

"Heya, Stahl, what're you doing?" A voice called from behind Stahl.

The cavalier turned to see Nowi, who was wearing a chef's hat and apron. More noticeable was the smoke emitting from whatever she was cooking.

"Get back here now! I need that sweet tincture before the batch goes stale!" Nowi ordered.

Stahl quickly looked for a vile of tincture. He then noticed a vile on the counter where Tharja was. He smiled.

"I bet Tharja was bringing this to help out. I guess sometimes sweet and sour can mix." Stahl complimented grabbing the potion.

"Here you go Nowi!" Stahl yelled racing back over to the manakete.

Meanwhile, Tharja had dashed back to her chamber. The dark mage plopped onto her bed and grumbled menacingly.

"That idiot! Now I have to find another way to get Robin...Oh well, I have all the time in the world and...wait...where's the love potion?!"

Tharja looked at the vile in her hands, but it wasn't her love formula. It was a regular bottle of tincture for sweetening foods.

"This might be a problem..." Tharja mumbled locking her door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so it might be more than two chapters. Oh well, enjoy!**

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The Mess Hall of the Garrison was full of colorful decorations. Cordelia and Maribelle bickered on a few of the designs and placements now and again, but ultimately it was resolved. The walls had crimson red banners cascading along the sides to form a square. Streamers were hanged on the edges of each segment of the banners. Party hats were laid on the table each to match the number of shepherds. Even the old, rigid tables and cracked stone walls looked oddly pleasant among the camaraderie.

Robin and Gaius stopped by the kitchen first.

"Hey, Stahl? Are you in here?" Robin shouted opening the door to the kitchen.

The tactician's face was instantly met with a fog of smoke forming from the end of the room. As he coughed into one arm and fanned with the other, Robin could hear a voice shouting in the distance.

"Robin? Robin is that you?" the voice called in a chirpy tone.

It wasn't Stahl responding to Robin, but Nowi. The manakete practically jumped into Robin's arms when he gave a confirming "yes".

"Yay! There you are! I was about to look for you, Roby." Nowi said hugging Robin.

"Looking for me? *cough* Why?" Robin asked fanning more smoke out of his face.

Nowi ran back into the fog of smoke, and seconds later returned with a batch of cookies. The cookies looked normal at first glance. However, further inspection from Robin's insightful eyes revealed that they were the cause of the smoke. To add insult to injury, they were a crumbly and char-black with a dash of forest green.

"O-oh...you made those with your own two hands?" Robin asked throwing up in his mouth at the smell of "Unknown Batch X".

Nowi nodded, "Yep! I want you to try my masterpiece first!"

Before Robin could refuse or volunteer Gaius, Nowi shoved one of the death chunks into Robin's mouth. Seeing no way to escape, Robin bid his taste buds goodbye and ate the cookie.

Going into detail, you could say he experienced torture, but that would be too lenient. Robin's mouth experienced hell. He felt the skin-shriveling feel of the burnt crust. Then, he felt the dry substance against his teeth and gums. Finally, the true horror of the cookie revealed itself. Robin had to force it down just to keep himself from vomiting.

"Sooo...how was it?" Nowi asked in anticipation. She had a look of high hopes. Robin knew he couldn't crush it.

Forcing his best smile, "T-they're...unique...I can't say I-hurrgh-e-ever tasted anything like it. (Nor do I ever want to again...)" Robin answered.

"Yay! I knew you'd like it! Want another one?" Nowi asked holding another death chunk in her gloved hands.

Robin could feel his soul dying.

"Gee, Nowi, as much as I would love to try another one I-hrurgh-I need to go check on the preparations for the party. Where's Stahl?" Robin asked clenching his stomach.

"He's in the Mess Hall giving everyone his batch. Mine's the second course if we run out." Nowi said pointing to the Mess Hall from the serving window. She pouted at the latter part of the sentence.

Robin and Gaius gave their thanks and goodbyes, and made their way to the Mess Hall. When they had closed the door and were out of Nowi's sight, Robin collapsed on the ground.

"Bubbles!" Gaius exclaimed, rushing over to his fallen friend. He held Robin up with one arm so they were face to face.

"I-I can't go on anymore...I...I forced my body to keep going for as long as could..." Robin muttered dramatically.

"Don't say that! You'll be fine! Here I have a sucker. It's your favorite, cherry..." Gaius said handing Robin the lollipop.

"Heh, that's just like you..." Robin mumbled trailing off. As his voice faded, he began to drop the lollipop.

A good man died that day.

"Robin? What are you two doing?" a voice asked, drawing Robin back from the brink of death.

When he stopped being a drama queen, Robin realized it was Cordelia speaking to him.

"Oh! Cordelia!" Robin proclaimed getting back on his feet and dusting himself off.

"You seemed to be having a moment. Is everything alright?" Cordelia asked.

"Bubbles here just got the bitter stick of gum with Nowi's cooking." Gaius informed.

"Well here, this is one of Stahl's batches. I'm sure it'll be more pleasing." Cordelia said handing Robin one of the cookies.

Aesthetically, the cookie was perfect. It was well-rounded, had a smooth tan color, and smelled heavenly. Robin noticed it had a hint of pink in coloring on the top as opposed to Nowi's green.

"Wow that does look good, thank you, Cordelia!" Robin replied taking the cookie.

The two were about to eat the cookie simultaneously, however, Robin stopped to get a cup of the drinks next to the cookies, while Cordelia ate hers. Robin decided to wait and see if it was any good.

"Well, how was it?" Gaius asked.

Cordelia stared at the ground. She was dead silent for a few seconds. She looked back up to the thief and tactician. She had a bright blush and dazed looked on her face.

"I loved it...but..." the Pegasus knight mumbled.

"But?" Gaius and Robin asked in unison.

"I love Gaius more!" Cordelia proclaimed as she pulled Gaius into a hug.

Robin merely watched in awe and jealousy as Cordelia hug and kiss Gaius.

"Cordelia, what's gotten into you?" Robin asked.

"Love, Robin! I love Gaius more than anyone!" Cordelia stated releasing her grip on Gaius.

"Anyone?! Even...him?" Robin asked hinting at Cordelia's previous crush.

Cordelia merely nodded and squeezed Gaius even harder. The candy thief looked like he was going to spit out his guts if she was any tighter.

"Well, better him than me, I guess." Robin chuckled, "I'm happy for you two love birds."

While Robin happily accepted the two's love, Gaius was not so accepting. He immediately began to shake himself free from Cordelia's grasp, but to no avail.

"Hey! Don't go assigning me to anyone, Bubbles!" Gaius shot back.

Robin looked at him with a sly smile.

"So, you're saying you don't like Cordelia?"

"W-well not really..." Gaius said nervously with a light blush across his face.

"Still, it isn't like Cordelia to be such a romanticist...or I guess an open romanticist would better." Robin said correcting himself on the latter part.

Robin thought about everything that happened recently. Cordelia didn't start acting clingy until she ate the cookie.

"Wait a minute..." Robin mumbled looking at the cookie in his hand.

"Robin! There you are!" a voice called out.

Robin turned to be greeted by Maribelle. The classy troubadour was making final adjustments to the decorations before she noticed the commotion. She immediately took notice of Cordelia, who was still latching to Gaius.

"What in the world is Cordelia doing?" Maribelle asked.

"That's what we're trying to figure out. She..." Robin said trailing off at the end, "Say, Maribelle? Could you answer a question?"

"But of course, Robin. It IS my job to make the little people happy with their disappointing lives. What do you need?" Maribelle replied rather starkly.

"As curt as ever..." Robin mumbled, "How do you feel about me, as a person?"

Maribelle merely stared at Robin for a second. She tried to piece together the point of the question.

"Oh! I understand now." Maribelle proclaimed smugly.

"Get what?" Robin asked confusingly.

"You're proposing."

"I'm WHAT?!"

"I have to say, Robin, I had no idea you felt that way about me. Also, the setting isn't what I would have wanted, but we can redo the scene again if necessary..." Maribelle continued endlessly, and Robin didn't get a word in edge wise.

Eventually, Robin had to snap her out of her imagined future.

"MARIBELLE!"

"Oh, right! Your question; I would say that your very unbearable at times, but not the worst choice for a husband."

"You're still on about-Fine, whatever. Here, eat this." Robin said handing her the cookie Cordelia gave him.

"Hmph! usually, you get a ring when a man proposes," Maribelle scoffed. "But we can visit a shop later I guess."

Maribelle snatched the sweet and took a small nibble out of it. She real was a high class noble, even made obvious with her eating habits. After she took the first bite, Maribelle hung her head downward, similar to how Cordelia had done originally. When she lifted her head, Maribelle had the same blush and dazed look.

"Now, how do you feel about me?" Robin asked. He seemed to be testing something.

"I-I..."

"You...?"

"I love you, Robin! I don't care if you're a swine among street urchins! I want to be married to that swine!" Maribelle proclaimed latching herself to Robin like Cordelia to Gaius.

"That confirms it. They're cursed." Robin said with a satisfied tone.

"Cursed?" Gaius said still struggling to free himself from Cordelia's affection.

"There's something about those cookies. We should take one to Tharja, she might know whats happening." Robin said planning their next move, "But first..."

Robin looked at Maribelle. While the results for his experiment are what he expected, he didn't take into account that she would grab hold of him as well.

"We have to shake these two loose." Robin stated with an annoyed tone.

The two's problems were put on hold when Stahl ran up to them.

"R-Robin! Trouble!" Stahl yelled waving his arms around frantically.

"Stahl! Stall! Breathe a moment!" Robin responded calming his cavalier friend, "What's wrong?"

Stahl stopped a moment and stared at Gaius and Robin, who were on the ground with a blushing Cordelia and Maribelle on top of them. Needless to say, it wasn't the most subtle moment.

"S-sorry to interrupt..." Stahl mumbled backing away nervously. He immediately returned running back.

"No! This can't wait!" Stahl exclaimed.

"Get to it already, what's wrong?" Gaius butted in hoping to speed up the conversation.

"Everyone is acting weird and-" Stahl's response was interrupted by another voice.

"~Ooh Stahhll! ~ Where are you?" the voice asked.

It was Lissa, but like the others was in the love daze.

Gaius and Robin looked at Stahl who was mouthing "help me!" the second he heard Lissa's voice.

Whatever was happening among the Shepherds wasn't going to be easy to solve.

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**Gods, I don't know how the romantic moments are turning out. Did I do a good job with the characters? Why didn't anyone tell me writing would get this stressful?!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3, and let me add...this is starting to get weird.**

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"Do you see anything?" Gaius mumbled from behind a tree outside the Garrison.

From the bushes next to the tree, Robin's silver hair could be seen standing out. Robin rustled the leaves around so he could see. When he had gotten a chance to scope the area, he turned to Gaius.

"Nothing on my side, but-" Robin mumbled. He stopped mid-sentence to duck down and shush his friend.

The two watched as Cordelia and Maribelle trotted by, still in their drunk gaze.

"Gaius! Come here! Please?" Cordelia yelled in search of her beloved.

"Robin! It's rude to keep a girl waiting!" Maribelle added.

When the two were out of sight, Robin and Gaius stood up. They were safe for now, but they needed to find Tharja if they wanted to undo whatever was afflicting the army. Before they continued forward, Gaius remembered something.

"Hey, what happened to Stahl?" Gaius asked dusting leaves off of his shirt. He then reached for a candy cane in one of his pouches and began to nibble at it.

"Oh yeah..." Robin remembered, "I think Lissa got a hold of him when we were running."

Turning back time a half an hour before, our two heroes were being attacked by a love-sick Cordelia and Maribelle. An explosion of smoke quickly filled in from the kitchen, followed by a screaming Nowi dashing out the kitchen door. Robin and Gaius used the moment to slip away. Stahl, however, was grabbed by Lissa at the last second, and hasn't been heard from since.

"Okay, so here's the plan." Robin said squatting down and grabbing a tree branch.

"We're here." He continued drawing an X and a triangle in the dirt beneath them.

"Wait." Gaius interrupted, "Are you the X or am I?"

"What? Why?" Robin asked derailing from the plan.

"Because I want to be the X..." Gaius admitted.

"It doesn't matter who the X is!" Robin yelled standing up.

"So, I can be the X?" Gaius asked standing up as well.

"No way! I'm the X!" Robin stated loudly.

"What?! You said it didn't matter!" Gaius responded loudly.

"Right, because I'm the X-Whoa!" Robin yelled.

He was cut off when Maribelle came up from behind and pulled him into a hug. Gaius tried to run, but Cordelia was behind him.

"Robin! There you are! Just where did you get off too?" Maribelle yelled with glee as she squeezed Robin harder.

"Oh, you know-ack!-around..." Robin mumbled in pain.

"Gaius, you're no better!" Cordelia exclaimed, "You made me worry my love didn't love me back!"

"No. Why would you think that? Could it be how I keep trying to avoid you!?" Gaius asked sarcastically.

The two tried to struggle free but were quickly forced onto the ground. They wouldn't be able to break free of the two's obsessive grasp this time.

"Gaius?" Robin said with a defeated tone.

"Yeah, Robin?" Gaius asked in response.

"High five..." Robin said holding out an open hand, "This is probably the end for us, but still...its a good way to go out, right?"

Gaius met Robin's hand with his own.

"Would have preferred more candy involved, but...yeah, it's pretty sweet."

Suddenly, the mood was cut by a swift thwack sound. Maribelle and Cordelia's grips on the two were lightening as the girls fell unconscious. Gaius and Robin looked up to see Stahl and Olivia. Olivia was blushing, with an angry look, breathing heavily, and holding a ladle with two dents in it.

"And just WHAT were you two doing?!" Olivia yelled angrily.

Her outburst sent Robin and Gaius straight up off the ground out of fear, and sent Stahl stepping back a bit.

"Olivia?" Robin asked nervously.

"I-I can't believe you'd do this to me, Robin!" Olivia yelled.

She quickly turned and started crying.

"N-No, Olivia it's not what it looks like! I-" Robin pleaded stopping mid-sentence.

"_Wait. Why am I explaining this like I was cheating on her?"_ Robin thought to himself.

"It's not what it looks like, Olivia. These two are cursed." Gaius informed pointing to Cordelia and Maribelle.

"Cursed?" Olivia asked sniffling as she dried her eyes.

"Yeah, something about Stahl's cookies makes people fall in love with the first person they see. Speaking of which..." Gaius said turning to Stahl.

"H-Hey, don't look at me! I used regular ingredients, I swear!" Stahl stated.

"Yeah, I doubt you had anything to do with it." Robin admitted taking suspicion off of Stahl.

"Regardless, we should see Sunshine about this. She has to know something or another." Gaius indicated.

"Right, but without a sample, it won't be as simple to solve..." Robin reminded.

"You mean like these?" Stahl asked reaching behind him.

Stahl pulled out of a pouch a plastic bag with two cookies inside of it.

"Stahl! That's genius!" Olivia complimented.

"But that's only two. Where are the others?" Gaius asked.

"Still on the plate in the Mess Hall, why?" Stahl informed.

"You mean the kitchen everyone's meeting at. Where everyone can get a hold of them?" Robin asked rhetorically.

"Oh...yeah..." Stahl replied scratching the back of his head.

"We should get going. The longer we spend twiddling our thumbs the more time the potion has to spread its effects." Robin declared.

"What about them?" Stahl asked pointing to the unconscious Cordelia and Maribelle.

"Prop them against the tree. With any luck, they won't wake up until after we find a cure." Robin decided.

Gaius and Stahl laid the two against the tree, and then the group made their way back into the Garrison. They walked through the many halls of the Garrison, each empty like a ghost town. To add to the effect, the cobblestone hallways were dimly lit by a small number of torches, adding to the unnerving feel.

"Everyone must be in the kitchen by now." Olivia muttered looking at the absence of shepherds in the halls.

"That's not good. Let's just pray they don't eat the snacks." Stahl added.

"Hey, Olivia?" Robin asked changing the subject.

"Y-yes, Robin?" Olivia stuttered nervously. She was back to being her usual shy self.

"What was with that outburst back there? And the thing back in my room? Are you okay?"

Olivia turned red again. She had prayed he had forgotten about that. Her outburst wasn't intentional. She just saw Maribelle on top of him and snapped.

"O-oh...uh-er-right, t-that." Olivia stammered trying to find the right words, "Well...t-the thing is, R-Robin..."

"Yes?" Robin asked intrigued at where she was going with her words.

"I-I...um..."

"Hey, lovebirds! Can it, we're here!" Gaius yelled interrupting the moment.

Olivia blush faded a bit, but remained slightly when she heard "lovebirds".

"Gaius! Don't go around saying stuff like that! I-It's embarrassing." Olivia said pouting at the end of the sentence.

The group stood in front of the iron door that cased in Tharja's room. It gave off an even more supernatural fear than the hallways surrounding it. Robin, specifically, felt a chill down his spine in the presence of the room. It was nerve racking enough that no one would make the approach to knock on the door.

"S-So...whenever you're ready, R-Robin." Stahl faltered volunteering Robin.

"Me?!" Robin asked, "Why? She terrifies me more than anything!"

"Just do it, Bubbles. We don't have time." Gaius added.

"...Let's take a vote." Robin offered.

The other three immediately raised their hands and in unison said, "Robin."

"_Dammit!"_ Robin cursed under his breath.

The tactician turned to the Hell's gate in front of him. No doubt, Tharja would try and take this as a proposal of sorts or some other perverse thing. However, Robin didn't have time to assume the worst. He slowly raised his hand up to the door and began to knock. Each clanging sound resonated with the prior, and each one made Robin more nervous.

Leisurely the door creaked open and from the confines of the chamber emerged the dark mage. Instead of the awkward moment Robin anticipated, Tharja immediately slammed the door when she saw it was Robin.

The group merely stared quietly at what they saw. Usually, Tharja would jump at a chance to speak with him.

"Tharja! Open up!" Robin yelled knocking on the door louder.

"...No, thank you." Tharja mumbled.

Robin grumbled to himself out how difficult she was being.

"_NOW, she chooses to be out of character?!_" Robin thought to himself.

Gaius scratched the end of his clean shaven chin and pondered on a way to get Tharja to leave. He noticed Robin wasn't looking his direction.

"Perfect." Gaius murmured as he started to reach for Robin's shoulders.

He placed a single hand on Robin's shoulder and turned Robin towards him.

"Gaius?" Robin asked in confusion.

"I'm sorry." Gaius said pulling one of the love cookies out.

He immediately slammed his boot down on Robin's foot, causing Robin to scream mouth wide in agony. Gaius then placed the cookie in Robin's mouth and the turned Robin towards Olivia. Robin then showed the symptoms. He hung his head downward, gained a large blush and dazed look, and looked directly at Olivia.

"Oh no, what is this? It seems Robin has fallen in love with Olivia by means of a curse. If only someone knew how to fix it..." Gaius hinted to Tharja in an apathetic tone.

Tharja cursed the thief for his cleverness. She didn't want to leave Robin like that, but at the same time, she couldn't reveal that it was all her fault to begin with.

"Say, Robin? How do you feel about Olivia?" Gaius asked in his fake acting voice.

"I...I don't think I've ever loved anyone more..." Robin mumbled.

Tharja frowned. She was angry, but knew that it was because of the cookie, so it didn't bother her that much. Gaius knew this and decided to hit the nerve harder.

"Robin! Dance with Olivia!" Gaius ordered the lovesick tactician.

Robin immediately grabbed Olivia's hand and began to lead her into a tango. As happened Olivia could feel her face lighting up. She wasn't sure if she could stay conscious much longer.

Tharja's frown became a scowl.

Gaius reached behind him and pulled out a small box labeled, "Plan Ahead! The game for happy couples!" and began to read the questions.

"Question 1! How many kids will you have?" Gaius asked reading the card aloud.

"Two. If that's alright with you darling?" Robin asked without breaking a sweat.

"Um...uh...er-I mean-...o-o-okay..." Olivia stuttered dizzily.

Tharja's scowl became mumbling angrily.

"Question 2! Where will you go for your honeymoon?"

"Anywhere Olivia desires. Of course, our mode of travel will be a Pegasus drawn carriage...and love." Robin answered.

The mushy comment even made Stahl want to hurl. Tharja was in disarray.

"Question 3! Where will your first-" Gaius continued before being interrupted by the sound of an iron door slamming open.

"Okay! Alright, I'll help! Just stop! Please!" Tharja begged.

"Thank you Sunshine. We'll start with Robin, because he's really starting to sicken me..." Gaius stated pointing everyone's attention to Robin.

He was caressing a fainted Olivia's hand at the time.

* * *

**So...yeah. That happened.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay! Chapter 4! Gods, I need to get back to my other stories...**

* * *

To say things are running amuck during the reunion of the Shepherds would be an understatement. Tharja has managed to poison most of her companions with her love potion, all in an attempt to woo Robin. Now Robin himself is cursed, but with eyes only for Olivia, much to her approval. Hoping Tharja will know a cure to the situation, the group enters the Dark Mages chambers.

The walls were a darker color than the ones outside, due to the lack of light. The Shepherds had windows with blinds, but Tharja let hers shut. The floors had multiple smudge tracings, where Tharja had used other sigils for curses and such. Mini-shelves hung across the walls in the line, and held an assortment of books. Tharja must have had then memorized, because none of the Shepherds present could see them clearly. Skulls, bones, fossilized insects, and other bizarre items decorated the room as well. Any psycho would feel right at home with the accommodations present.

"Nice place you got here." Gaius said sarcastically sucking on a lollipop he had been saving.

"Quiet." Tharja grumbled in response. She was still furious with Gaius' little stunt from before.

"You, bring him over here." Tharja demanded angrily of Olivia.

"Alright..." Olivia mumbled. She directed Robin, who was latched to Olivia's hand like a lost puppy, towards Tharja.

"Now, take a step back." Tharja ordered.

Stahl and Gaius stepped away from the two. Olivia, with disappointed face, detached herself from Robin, and stepped back with the two.

"I wonder what spell she'll use." Stahl mumbled to Gaius in anticipation.

"Probably some specific spell, it's going to hurt Robin no doubt." Gaius answered voicing his opinion.

The three watched as Tharja approached Robin.

"Now wait right there, this won't hurt a bit..." Tharja said in a creepy tone that made it sound less reassuring.

"Olivia..." Robin mumbled like a drunkard.

Tharja gritted her teeth in anger. She drew back her hand as if to begin charging a spell. The three's eyes widened. Tharja slung her clenched fist forward into Robin's jaw. Olivia, Gaius, and Stahl merely stood there in astonishment at Tharja's method. It was less arcane than what they were expecting. Seconds afterward, Robin let out a shriek and a variety of "colorful" words.

"OW! NAGA ABOVE! AGH, I CAN TASTE BLOOD!" Robin bellowed clenching his jaw in misery; this, of course, being the toned down version of what he actually said.

"Well...you were right about the pain..." Stahl chuckled to Gaius.

"Glad to see you're having fun..." Robin mumbled rubbing his chin.

"A-Are you okay Robin?" Olivia asked approaching Robin. She was a bit hesitant, because she was unsure if he was cured yet.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. I'll feel that in the morning, though. Why?" Robin asked.

"You...DON'T feel the urge to kiss Olivia?" Gaius asked confirming his suspicions in a rather blunt manner.

The dancer and tactician both jumped back at the suggestion and illuminated their faces with their blushing.

"W-What?! W-Why would I just do that out of the blue?!" Robin stammered.

Gaius and Stahl high-fived the other and chanted, "He's cured!"

Tharja gathered everyone's attention by whistling loudly.

"If the absurdity lessons are over with," Tharja proclaimed coldly, "I'll explain how the cure works."

"We just have to sock them one good, right?" Gaius asked.

"No." Tharja replied, "We have to change their taste."

The group looked to her with furrowed brows. They didn't quite understand what she meant by "taste". Tharja sighed and pulled out a book on human biology. She opened the text, skimmed through a few pages, and began to tell her abridged version of the text's information.

"We don't have access to full body diagrams, as we lack the technology." Tharja explained, "However, one known fact is that the tongue is connected to the brain like a nerve. The love tincture reaches the brain with that method. Since it can't fully possess the brain, it only works on the first person you see, as your brain will instantly register them. As long as the victim tastes the potion, the effects remain.

"So...can't we just wait until the potion wears off?" Stahl suggested.

"No, my tincture is a...special kind of potion. The effects won't fade away or even linger. They have to be replaced. I replaced Robin's taste with the taste of blood." Tharja corrected.

"Yeah, I see what you mean now- Wait...YOUR tincture?!" Robin yelled.

Tharja mentally face palmed herself. She meant to keep that under wraps.

"Yeah, meant to tell you...this is kind of my fault..." Tharja mumbled, "Stahl scared me while I was hiding in the kitchen. I grabbed his seasoning tincture by mistake, and Stahl used mine in his baking."

"Why were you hiding in the kitchen?" Robin asked sternly.

Tharja merely remained quiet.

"Dammit Tharja, was this whole potion fiasco for me?" Robin asked with a disappointed tone.

"...Yes." The Dark Mage responded.

"It really doesn't matter now, right? Let's focus on what we have to do to fix this." Stahl reasoned.

"...Fine." Robin grumbled.

"I'm not in trouble?" Tharja asked checking to see if she was off the hook.

"No, you're going to help us as your punishment." Gaius indicated.

"...What if I refuse?" Tharja protested back to the thief.

Gaius quickly pulled out the remaining love cookie, causing Robin to jump back in fear behind Stahl. He poked his head slightly over the cavalier's left shoulder to see if Gaius was serious.

Tharja frowned, "Alright. Alright, let's just get this over with."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Sunshine." Gaius complimented putting the cookie away.

"Still, we need a better solution than bloodying everyone's mouths."

Everyone sat quietly and thought about a way to achieve this. Olivia was first to suggest an idea.

"What if we fed them Gaius' candy?" the dancer offered.

The group turned to Gaius, who was quickly hiding his sweets under Tharja's rug. Even after Gaius realized they had noticed, he continued the bit anyway.

"Uh, s-sorry everyone, I'm fresh out today. Shipment doesn't come in 'til next week..." Gaius said. His voice was a deceiving as the visible lump beside him where the candy laid.

Everyone merely stared at him with a look of annoyance.

"Even if we forced Gaius to hand over the candy-" Tharja began before the thief chimed in interruption.

"-Which you won't."

"Anyway...it wouldn't work. The cookies are sweet, so candy and pastries would only add to that, not replace it." Tharja finished.

"So, we need something opposite to sweet..." Stahl summarized aloud.

Suddenly, Robin remembered the incident when he and Gaius entered the kitchen. A certain manakete's deadly snacks that Robin had the displeasure of sampling.

"Nowi's cookies!" Robin proclaimed jumping back on his feet.

While Olivia and Tharja stared at him in confusion, Stahl and Gaius understood the tactician perfectly. However, the thief immediately saw a flaw in the plan.

"Right, there's no way someone could ignore that taste...and their certainly the opposite of sweet." Stahl added.

"That solves what we'll use...but how do we get them to eat it?" Gaius asked, "Even I wouldn't touch those things..."

"Same way you got Robin to eat the love cookie. We'll just have to force them to eat it." Tharja answered.

"Please don't remind me..." Robin asked. As he tried to actually remember everything that happened, he couldn't recall even a second of it. "Wait. Why don't I remember what happened?"

"Must be a side effect, the target probably loses all memory of the situation since it's a technical brainwash." Stahl suggested.

Robin looked to the green Cavalier, "So everyone might not remember this save for us?"

Tharja immediately shot up with joy, "Yes! I might just get off the hook for this one!"

"Sorry Sunshine. We still have our memories. Good to know your priorities are in place, though." Gaius explained with sarcasm at the latter part.

The group continued for a bit before remembering what they needed to do. Everyone stood up and followed Robin to the iron door to exit the room. When Robin opened the door, in front of them stood Cordelia and Maribelle.

"Yay, these two again...look, Sweet heart, we don't have time for-" Gaius said with an irritated looked. He was interrupted by the swish of a knife from Cordelia. Luckily, the thief was nippy enough to dodge the blind attack, and instead the blade smacked against the stone floor.

Gaius and Robin jumped back and studied Maribelle and Cordelia once more. Their blushes had faded, and the only thing red was their Iris'. Both women had a creepy smile similar to murderers in horror stories. Maribelle was next to attack. She pulled out tome and began charging a fire spell. The group quickly retaliated by closing the door and hiding in the room. They heard a loud explosion and a hammering thud against the metal door. Steam could be seen fading in the aftermath.

Tharja wasn't worried about them breaking in, the door was always hexed to be unbreakable. It could only be opened by her hands.

"So, T-Tharja..." Robin asked with a traumatized look across his face.

"Y-Yes Robin?" Tharja responded. She was worried about how he was going to process everything.

"Want to explain this one to me?"

* * *

**So, be honest. Did you see that ending coming?**


End file.
